Amanda's upset. She says I let Methos talk about her behind her back. I think the next one will be The Muses Go To PreSchool.

"It's too quiet around here."

<It always is once you've finally sent a story off. Don't worry about it.>

"What are we gonna do next, Amanda?"

<I thought Duncan wanted to do the fairy tale next.>

"There were...problems with that story."

<Let me guess. Was this particular problem skinny with a big nose?">

"Let's just say Duncan was convinced to pass on this round."

<Well then, could we do one with Blair?>

"Can't. We don't get The Sentinel. Besides Zen and nancy are keeping him pretty busy with TLB."

<He's just so cute. I think I want to go to Colorado and visit him again.>

"Not a good idea, Manders. Nan says Mousetrap scared him. He's hiding under their dining room table again."

<Poor baby. I could go comfort him. I'll protect him from the nasty man with the big nose.>

"I don't think he's afraid of Methos."

<He's afraid of MacLeod? Why would the poor little thing be afraid of Duncan? Duncan would never hurt Blair!>

"He's not afraid of Duncan."

<Me? He's afraid of me?>

"That's what Zen and nancy said. Don't look at me like that. I didn't say it, they did."

<Why would he be afraid of me? What did I do?>

"Well, Amanda, some men just can't handle women who...."

<Speak their minds? Have their own opinions? Don't need a man for validation?>

"Carry large, sharp, pointy objects?"

<Bullshit. It's not the fact that it's a weapon that bothers them, it's the fact that it's a phallic symbol. Who worries about penis envy when you can carry a big sword? Like Methos'.>

"Meow. Not nice, Manders."

<Oh, by all means, let's be nice. I haven't noticed a surfeit of 'nice' around here tonight.>

"He'll get over it. He's just upset that we left him unconscious at the end of Mousetrap."

<He doesn't appreciate me. I spent that entire story trying to do him a favor, *and* I ruined a very expensive designer blouse doing it! But does he appreciate it? No, of course not.>

"The male ego is a very delicate thing, Amanda. We weren't very careful with Methos'."

<Delicate? Careful? The man was Death on a Horse! How careful do we have to be?>

"You and MacLeod. It's not about who he *was* Manders, It's about who he *is*. Methos is very sensitive."

<Sensitive? Touchy is more like it. Prickly even. He's about as sensitive as...as...I don't do metaphors. You and Methos are in charge of that.>

"See? He has the soul of a poet."

<He has the soul of a rabid Rottweiler. And half as much charm.>

"He's a very complicated man. You're just used to Duncan. He's  spoiled you. It takes a little more sophistication to appreciate Methos' particular charms."

<Did you say particular or peculiar?>

"My, he did get to you didn't he?"

<He called me a tart.>

"Actually, he called you a scheming, treacherous, little tart, but let's not split hairs."

<No. Let's split Methos. Horizontally. About neck high.>

"No physical violence, Amanda. That's the rule."

<I wouldn't kill him. I just want to torture him a little.>

"Sorry, that's Cassandra's job. And the reason she doesn't live here. Besides, I don't want to set a precedent. I can't afford to get the rugs cleaned every time you two have an argument. And you know you couldn't take him."

<Not if he's expecting it, no.>

"No ambushes, Amanda. It's beneath you."

<You'd be surprised at what's *not* beneath me.>

"I doubt it. Leave Methos alone, Amanda."

<Why are you being so nice about him? You're never that nice *to* him.>

"I'm as nice to Methos as he'll let me be."

<Pisses you off, too, does he?>

"Frequently."

<But you keep writing him.>

"It's an addiction, Manders. Not pretty, but true."

<I think they have shots for that now.>

"You know, you're almost as funny as he is."

<Thanks.>

"It wasn't a compliment, Amanda."

<That's what you think.>

"It's too quiet in here. Where *are* Mac and Methos?"

<Mac's asleep.>

"Where's Methos?"

<Dum-de-dum-dum...>

"Amanda, what did you do?"

<I didn't break any of the rules.>

"Where. Is. Methos."

<In the bathroom.>

"For two hours? No way. Only Duncan spends two hours in the bathroom. Get's hair all over everything, too."

<"Well...>

"What did you do, Amanda."

<You know that problem you've been having with the lock? I fixed it.>

"You locked Methos in the bathroom? For two *hours*? What the hell were you thinking? Do you have any idea how pissed off he's going to be?"

<So what? He can't hurt me. The rules, remember?">

"The mouth, Amanda. Do you know how long you're going to be his number one target?"

<Shit. I didn't think of that.>

"I'll give you a fifteen minute head start."

<Where should I go?>

"I'll let Zen and nan know you're on your way. Have a nice trip, Manders."

 The End

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