<Pleeeease?>

"Give it a rest, Methos. I'm not going to do it."

<Not even for me?>

"Nope."

<You don't love me anymore.>

"Yeah, right. I don't love you anymore. That explains why I've got five stories in progress and three different imported beers in the fridge. Not to mention the Godiva chocolates and the extra-long handled scrub brush for your back."

<sniff>

"Need a tissue?"

<You're cold, cruel and heartless.>

"Not yet, but I'm working on it."

<If you loved me, you'd do it.>

"That's not love, Methos. That's vanity, and I don't play that game."

<If you do this for me, I'll help you finish one of the stories.>

"Which one?"

<The TLB parody?>

"Oh, yeah. Like I'm going to let you help with that. I promised nan I wouldn't hurt Blair."

<Well, we can *bend* him a little, can't we?>

"Forget about it, Methos."

<Okay, Belling the Cat.>

"No deal. You're going to help me finish that anyway."

<Says who?>

"Duncan. He's polishing your collar as we speak. I think he's looking forward to it."

<A little too much, I'd say.>

"Don't get your boxers in a twist. I'm only going to let him bend you a little."

<But it would be a lot more fun if I cooperated.>

"Not necessarily."

<Bitch. Why won't you do this one little thing for me? It's not like I ask for much around here. Good beer, the occasional kind word...>

"The most comfy chair, total control of the TV remote, Duncan-sex on demand..."

<I'll complain to the union.>

"Sorry. This isn't covered in your contract, Methos."

<I'd do it for you.>

"Sure you would, Methos. I'm sure defending my honor is at the top of your to-do list. Right after that threesome PWP with Amanda and Cassandra."

<You said you wouldn't bring that up again.>

"You started it."

<Did not.>

"Did so."

<Did not.>

"Stop it! I am not starting another story until we finish one of the one's we've *already* started."

<Great! Let's finish one and then we can get this new show on the road!>

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

<Sure sounded like it to me.>

"No!"

<You realize that your stifling all my creative instincts, don't you?>

"Read my lips. We are not going to do it."

<Why not? We could do it, easy! And it would be fun!>

"How about-- because I have no desire to spend the next six months in ROG list purdah?"

<I don't understand how you can resist it. It's sitting there all juicy and ripe, just *begging* for your attention! Can't you hear it calling to you in the middle of the night? 'Suuuu--uuze, I'm waaaaiting!'>

"Meee-thos, I'm not liiiistening!"

<You win. I give up.>

"Bullshit. That was too easy."

<Nope. I understand completely. You don't want to do it, we won't do it. No problem.>

"Good."

<Fine.>

"Right."

<Okay.>

"Methos?"

<What?>

"If I come in some day and find anything that even *smells* like an Immortal Nations parody on my hard drive, I *will* write that Amanda/Cassandra threesome."

<I never get to have *any* fun.>

The End

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