<He can't do that.>

"Damn it, Methos. I thought we just settled that. If I say he can do it, he can damn well do it."

<Fine. Have it your way.>

"I plan on it."

<Just tell me-- when did Duncan grow the third hand?>

"Oh. Shit. There, it's deleted. Happy now?"

<Yes. And while you're at it, go back and fix this part.>

"What part?"

<This line here. 'The Easter Bunny kind of threw me.' I would never say that. Well, not during sex anyway.>

"I love that line. That line stays."

<Well then, at least go back and show them what's actually in that closet. You're going to get complaints about that. Just like they complained when you didn't tell them what Amanda screamed when she came in 'Fly'.>

"Methos, I don't *know* what she screamed! You wouldn't tell me."

<A gentleman doesn't, dear.>

"Just for that, I'm not going to tell what's in the closet."

<They're going to think I'm strange.>

"Methos, trust me on this one. They *already* think you're strange. Remember that last part of '...Hades?' Do you think people could write things like that if they thought you were normal? "

<Would you *please* stop reading those things! I'm beginning to worry about you. I've got enough to contend with already; I don't need another slash writer that loves to torture me.>

"But they do it sooo well, Methos."

<But *you* don't. That's why we're in this mess. Remember? Me, unconscious on the bed, bleeding. Just how long were you planning to leave me there?>

"Methos, you agreed to this before we started. We all discussed it, and you all agreed; there was going to be rough stuff in this one."

<I haven't got a problem with that. But you left me there! You've only written four paragraphs since Friday!>

"Nobody else is complaining."

<Of course not. You left Mac resting across the bottom of the bed with a self-satisfied smirk on his face, and Amanda's in the kitchen guzzling champagne. What the hell do they have to complain about?>

<Hey, I resent that. I've got plenty to complain about.>

"Oh God, now look what you've done. I never get anything written once he starts brooding."

<I'm not brooding. I have a legitimate complaint. I just finished  practically raping my best friend, and I'm smiling about it? Please. That is *not* Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod.>

<Not smiling, Mac. She has you actually *smirking*.>

<That's worse!>

"Shut up, both of you! Nobody got raped! Everything was totally consensual."

<I don't remember consenting to anything.>

"Well, I haven't actually written that part yet, but you *do* consent."

<Great. Until you do, Mac's a rapist, I'm bleeding to death, and Amanda's in danger of becoming an alcoholic.>

"Hey, it's not that bad, ya'll. This is *me*! I only do comedy pieces, remember?"

<Comedy. Yeah, right. Promise us you'll never do angst or h/c. I don't think we could take it.>

The End